Cheer Boy
by I-heart-tofu
Summary: 4th Story To Mystery Meat (a LOT better than the second and third!)


Cheer Boy  
  
Harry: *talking to Ron* The only way for Hermione to like me is take up one of her hobbies.  
  
Ron: like what? There are no other sports teams or anything here.  
  
Harry: I'll inform Dumbledore about how cheerleading has become popular thing in America.  
  
Ron: Ohhhh....What's cheerleading?  
  
Harry: Well, cheerleaders are dancers who've gone retarded.  
  
MEANWHILE IN DUMBLEDORE'S OFFICE  
  
Dumbledore: Ok so you say that cheerleading is a popular thing for girls, correct?  
  
Harry: Yes, *looks away* and dudes who like other dudes. *turns back*  
  
Dumbledore: I see .Well, I'll ask if any of the staff would like to hold these try outs.  
  
Harry: Thank you Mr. Dumbledore sir.  
  
OUT IN COURTYARD  
  
Harry *practicing some sad and weird cheer moves* *while some people are watching from there dorm windows and giggling and pointing* Ready Gryffindor! Okay! Gimmie a G-R-I-F-I-N-*pause*uhh...DOOR! Yeah! GO Team, we are like so *shakes head around* good!  
  
Hagrid: I couldn't help but see you practicin' some cheers...  
  
Harry: Weren't they good?! *look of excitement and dorkiness*  
  
Hagrid: *takes deep breath* That really wasn't what I was thinkin'- but everybody has their own 'pinions.  
  
Harry: Huh?  
  
Hagrid: *changes subject* I hear you're going to try out for the cheerleadin' team.*Harry nods* Well, don't tell anybody this, but I use to be a cheerleader.  
  
Harry: Really?  
  
Hagrid: No, not really- but I was their towel boy. And that's got to be worth somethin'. And I did watch them a lot in high school.  
  
Harry: That's uhh... kinda creepy.  
  
Hagrid: Well, do you want my help or not?  
  
Harry: okay *shrugs*  
  
LATER THAT DAY  
  
Harry: Ron, lately you've seemed kinda paranoid lately.  
  
Ron: I have not been acting paranoid! *looks over to window at the Whomping Willow* OH MY GOD!  
  
Harry: What! What!  
  
Ron: THAT CHIPMUCK'S GOT A GRENADE!  
  
Harry: Ron, that's an acorn.  
  
Ron: Oh.  
  
IN THE GREAT HALL *Hermione flirting with Malfoy* So are you coming to watch the cheerleading try outs? *twirls pieces of her hair* *bites lip*  
  
Malfoy: *talking like a playa, with sly grin on face* Are you gonna be there?  
  
Hermione: *giggles* Yeah  
  
Malfoy: I dunno I'll have ta think about it.  
  
Hermione:*smile dropped from her face* Well, there'll be girls there in short skirts. Including me. *more giggles*  
  
Malfoy: If ya put it that way- then I'll prolly stop by. *pounds heart then hand moves out to the peace sign* Word.  
  
MEANWHILE Ron:*in all cameo, looking for grenade carrying chipmunks/squirrels* *making up his own spy music* da na na na do do *rolls on floor to get to other side but fall out of window* *5 seconds later hears a thud on the ground* *fast* I'm okay.  
  
5 MINUTES LATER *Ron is in hallway again when he runs into Snape* Mr. Wesley what on earth are you doing?  
  
Ron: you can't see me I'm invisible! Ha ha ha! *runs off with arms flying in the air*  
  
Snape: *look of confusion*  
  
Ron: *keeps running and looks backwards and then falls down the stairs* Darn you-ouch- moving –ow! - staircases!  
  
IN THE AFTERNOON AT THE CHEERLEADING TRY OUTS Malfoy: *checking out all the ladies*  
  
Hermione: *getting out on the field* Go team! Let's Go Gryffindor! Whooo! Malfoy is really hot-and RICH! *walks off field* and goes and sits next to Malfoy*  
  
Harry:*watching Hermione as he walks out* *he's in a black and gray plaid long skirt and 50's shoes and a girly shirt* Ready Hogwarts! *does a couple of head bangs* *Hagrid in the crowd with a look of excitement, mouthing the words knowing he came up with the routine* Oh my gosh it's tutty fruity! Get on the floor and shake your booty! *then shakes pom poms on his butt which is facing the crowd. Falls over and on spanky pants is written: GRYFFINDOR KICKS THIS! *gets up* Yeah!  
  
*everyone is left speechless by what they've just seen (cricket noises) - except for Hagrid who stands up and starts to clap and cheer*  
  
LATER THAT DAY IN THE GRYFINDOR COMMON ROOM Hermione: Hey look they just posted the cheerleading list! *all the girls gather around – and Harry- to see who made the team* Hey look I made it! I gotta go tell Draco!*runs to Sylitherin corridors*  
  
Harry: *looks at list and his name isn't there* Ah crap. *then realizes that Ron is nowhere to be seen*  
  
IN THE STAIRWELL Ron: *who is still falling* Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.  
  
BACK IN COMMON ROOM Harry: *thinks to self* Must be in the toilet or something.  
  
IN SYLITERIN COMMON ROOM Hermione: *hanging on Malfoy* So like, now that I'm a cheerleader- you wanna go out some time?  
  
Malfoy: *most likely just came back from smoking pot in the men's room with his posse* Sure why not.  
  
Hermione:*large smile wipes over face* *to self* YES! *wipes smile off and turns over to Malfoy* So I'll see you later in the Great Hall, k?  
  
Malfoy: Sure why not.  
  
Hermione: *runs out with excitement*  
  
IN THE GRYIFFINDOR COMMON ROOM Hermione: *talking with another girl, Harry sitting across the room hearing every word* So like now that I'm going out with Malfoy...  
  
Harry:*look of hatred*  
  
Hermione:*blah blah blah blah.....*  
  
Harry: *thinking how much he hates Malfoy* *then pictures in his mind about them being together, kissing, holding hands, etc.* *stands up, bellows loudly, then sits down again and starts to hit his head against the desk in front of him*  
  
Hermione: *thinking, well that was defiantly random* Harry what on earth are you doing to that desk- and your head?!  
  
Harry: *stops hitting his head on desk* *eyes quench creepily* Nothing.  
  
IN THE GREAT HALL *Hermione sitting at the Sylitherin table talking with Malfoy and his buddies.  
  
Harry: *thinking* Where's Ron? How can he leave me here to crash and burn!  
  
AT THE BOTTOM OF STAIRCASES Ron: Ow... I can't feel my body.  
  
McGonagall: *looks at Ron lying there* *raises eyebrows, shrugs* *and walks away* 


End file.
